We Hold Their Hearts in Our Hands -We are Counselors as Well as Teachers
Recently one of my dear neighbors asked me an interesting question.
“I know your reading program is helping so many children learn to read. I am wondering, do you also have to help them emotionally build their self-confidence?
“The reason I’m asking is because I saw my Matthew’s pain and tears when he was just in third grade. That was 35 years ago. His teacher actually recognized even then that he is dyslexic and knew he needed extra help in reading.
“When I told Matthew that he was going to get more help at school from a special teacher, he cried.
“I hadn’t realized how far behind he was. Matthew was always so happy-go-lucky. I didn’t know his struggles in school were bothering him so much.
“Matthew had actually realized how far behind he was. He was comparing his reading abilities to the other children in his class. He was wondering why they could read so quickly and effortlessly. He was wondering why it was so difficult for him. He was thinking that he wasn’t as smart as the other children! He felt embarrassed and ashamed! My heart broke!
“His caring, thoughtful teacher worked diligently to plan her lessons emphasizing phonics to correlate with the material Matthew’s class was learning, so he would gain the skills needed to catch up with his classmates.
“The tutoring he received had a life changing impact. His confidence skyrocketed. I’m sure that the students you tutor feel the same.”
The answer to this question is something my husband always wants to share with parents that are considering having me tutor their children and with prospective purchasers of my program.
He sees the answer daily as I tutor my students from our home. He empathizes with every one of my students, as he’s been in their shoes!
He tells people about how children come to me with their shoulders drooping and their heads down not wanting to make eye contact with me. He tells them how some of my students hide under my desk, use the bathroom six times in an hour, hug our decorator pillows to their chest for comfort, answer my questions by shrugging their shoulders and saying, “I don’t know.”
He proceeds with a joyful, enthusiastic voice! “It doesn’t take more than a couple of weeks before the children are holding their heads high, making eye contact, and confidently answering questions.”
The answer to my neighbor’s question: Yes, YES, YES!
Definitely a goal for all of my students is to build self-pride and self-confidence!
I begin from the first moment we meet. I spend our first tutoring session getting to personally know each child and their parents. I want to know about the family, their pets, their interests and hobbies. I want to know what the child enjoys doing in and out of school when alone and with friends, does he/she play a musical instrument and or participate in sports, what responsibilities does he/she have at home, what achievements/accomplishments has he/she celebrated.
During assessment, I always tell each child in specific terms the positive things he/she did:
· read with expression
· read smoothly
· read quickly
· showed enjoyment of reading
· paid attention to punctuation marks
· used phonics skills to decode unknown words
· used the context to choose an appropriate word
· thoroughly answered questions.
Throughout each lesson I again look for and tell the child in specific terms the positive things he/she did:
· I appreciate that you came to tutoring today with so much enthusiasm!
· When you look at me when I’m giving directions, I know you are listening to me.
· I appreciate it when you carefully and neatly mark the words with your colored pencils, because I can quickly read your answers.
· When you use nice handwriting, it is just like receiving a special gift from you for my old eyes.
· You took time to look carefully at each letter so you could correctly blend the sounds in each word.
· You read the word quickly.
· You read the sentence smoothly.
· You read with expression, so I knew you truly understand the meaning of the sentence.
· You read the sentence using phraseology! It sounded just like you were talking to me.
· You are an amazing reader!
· I love your beautiful, happy smile!
· You are using the phonics rules to spell words correctly.
· I can tell you are doing the sentence dictation exercises at home, because your spelling is improving.
· Thank you for always trying your best when learning something new and difficult.
· You learned a lot of new skills today.
· I wish I had video taped you when you first came, so you could see just how much you have learned.
· You are brilliant!
· Thank you for working so hard today!
Children with dyslexia can easily become discouraged, because although they put an extraordinary amount of effort into learning, that effort is not often rewarded if they are not taught using the right kind of tools that actually help them learn.
You can easily teach ALL children to read, write and spell using Phonetic Reading with Silent Elephant “e”, but that’s truly only part of it!
Always conscientiously develop their self-pride and self-confidence!
On several occasions my next-door neighbor (yes, a different neighbor) has commented to me, “I always know when a new student is starting tutoring with you. They slowly shuffle up the sidewalk as their parent is encouraging them to come along. Their sad faces are looking down at the ground.
“But it’s not long before they are skipping up the sidewalk, heads held high, with twinkling eyes and smiles on their faces!
“And when they leave each tutoring session, I hear their bubbly, excited voices telling Mom and Dad everything they have just learned.”
It’s priceless!
If you are questioning whether Silent Elephant “e” is the comprehensive reading, writing and spelling program you’d like to purchase, feel free to contact us.